You are here
Home > Randomness > Time Traveling in Style

Time Traveling in Style

My fellow editor and writer, Paul Lee, really enjoys the idea of time travel. He’s already set an itinerary for himself, but he hasn’t touched on how he is going to go about time traveling. That’s where I come in. I’ve read so many books and seen a lot of films on time travel and each one has done a fantastic job in showing me a cool and different way to travel through time. As the good ol’ Doc Brown used to say, “if you’re gonna build a time machine… why not do it with some style?” So without further ado, here are my top three methods of time travel.

TARDIS – and other vehicles that travel through time and space

Even though the show started 50 years ago, Doctor Who provided its audience with one method of time travel that never got old: TARDIS, which stands for Time and Relative Dimension in Space. (TARDIS is fun to say. But saying its full name is a mouthful.) While the TARDIS looks like a phone booth, thanks to technology, the inside is bigger than the outside. The TARDIS is packed with more rooms than a hotel on the Las Vegas strip. Seriously, there’s a pool, a library, a zoo with dinosaurs, and a closet that’s probably bigger than your room. Why a closet? You’ll need clothes from every time period to blend in with the surroundings.

Also, the TARDIS can redesign its own rooms to fit your every need. And finally, the TARDIS houses a chameleon circuit that changes its own outer shape to blend in with the background of wherever you go. It just needs a little fixing. This ship pretty much encapsulates everything you’d want in a time traveling space ship. You can go wherever you want without sticking out like a sore thumb.

However, all space ships require a crew to run it. Even the TARDIS was designed to be piloted by six people. So it can go either one of two ways. Either you can cough up the money to hire a crew to run your ship while you and your friends go gallivanting off on some pretty wild adventures (if you own a time machine, there are plenty of ways to make money. i.e. the lottery, sports betting, and stocks), or you and a few friends could learn to run the ship yourselves. Personally, I’d rather go with the latter since I’d be with people I trust. Wouldn’t want a mutiny…

Delorean

delorean

A sports car that also travels through time? Sign me up. Sure the design is a bit retro, but that’s the beauty of it. If you’re the type of person who likes to make a flashy entrance, this is the one for you. You can also modify it to fly and to use an alternative fuel source. You no longer have to rely on the Libyans to supply with the the plutonium necessary to power your Delorean. When you install “Mr. Fusion”, you will only need typical household waste to power the car. Just to keep it simple, let’s just say the car can run on beer (This is ‘Murica!). And beer has existed since antiquity.

What’s awesome about the Delorean is that the controls are simple. Just enter the time period you want to travel to and let the flux capacitor do the rest.

This doesn’t have to be limited to just the Delorean. Any vehicle will do. Preferably one that can fly, assuming that these vehicles’ ¬†ability to travel through time is contingent upon their momentum. You don’t want to be going 88 mph through a paved parking lot and wind up crashing into a barn, right?

Hand-Held Devices

Vortex Manipulator

Whether it’s a time travel watch from Family Guy or a vortex manipulator from Doctor Who, these hand held devices can instantly transport you from one point in time to another. Unfortunately, since time travel requires a substantial amount of power to perform, you’re limited to one or two uses with devices like these before the battery runs out. Also, if you lose it, or it gets broken somehow, you are going to be stuck wherever you are for the rest of your life. Unless you have back-up.

With devices like these, you won’t be able to take a lot with you, except maybe a duffle bag, backpack, and anything you can stuff in your pocket. The fact that it is small also, to me anyways, means it can be prone to breaking or malfunctioning. Also, there’s nothing really there to protect you from the effects of time travel, whatever they maybe. It could be dangerous. Then again, maybe it’s nothing at all. Still, who wants to risk it? Besides, what if you accidentally transport yourself into a rock. I’d really not like to die because I was off on the coordinates by one number.

Sure there are plenty of other ways to travel through time. You can do it by traveling through a black hole, steam-punked machinery, slingshot your spaceship around the sun, or even sitting in a hot tub and spilling some radioactive energy drink on to the electrical parts, but there are problems. You’d probably be ripped apart trying to go through a black hole. Also, I hate steam-punk and I don’t really like the idea of flying too close to the sun. The hot tub isn’t really all that practical. And I guess the last problem, one I am perpetually facing, is that I’m a nerd so chances are, I’d have to make this trip all my myself. It’s OK. Time to buy some lottery tickets and pump up my value.

The Time Machine BBT

Jun Kim
Jun Kim is a writer based out of Los Angeles, California. After graduating with a B.A. in Comparative Literature, he worked as a researcher for a prominent Orange County law firm. Currently he is the head technical writer for a corporate tax consulting firm who splits his day between analyzing tax credit studies and sneaking naps in his office. A self-professed lover of EDM and gamer extraordinaire who loves concerts and moonlit strolls to liquor stores.

Leave a Reply

Top