We’ve been open for business for the past 2 months and already, the numbers are speaking to us. Astonishingly, most of our readership is interested in dating and/or advice about women/men and relationships. We hear ya
kids… I mean old people? Is it OK to call our readers old? In any case, we decided to take things up a notch and give all you ladies a few tips on snaggin’ that committed relationship. Before we start, I just want to point out that if you’re just out there to have a good time, this advice isn’t for you. If you want to party like a rock star, then by all means, do it. The NSB staff condones anything and everything you can experience. However, if you ARE looking for a relationship that doesn’t end with you leaving some guy’s apartment in the morning as quietly as possible, then read on!
So you are out on your first date with a guy you’re interested in. Nervous? Don’t be. First dates are often that getting-to-know-you period that don’t require a lot of commitment. It’s like a job interview except even if you totally crash and burn, you won’t be missing out on rent money. That being said, the first date is a delicate game of chess that needs to be played properly.
Don’t suggest a movie. I don’t know where the misconception arose about movies being a great date night activity. You’re literally not seeing or interacting with your potential significant other. Movies are best saved for later on down the road. You know, when words aren’t needed any more because you’ve already gotten to know whoever it is you’re watching that movie with. Or, if you need an excuse to make a late night visit to your already-significant-other’s empty home.
Coffee is always a great way to start a date with a person you’re meeting the first time. In a blind date situation, never commit to any activity that will take longer than 30 minutes. This is a safety net for you so you’re not stuck with some douche bag you don’t want to spend time with. If coffee goes well and you guys hit it off, it is easy to get a guy to commit to a dinner and/or drinks. All you have do is be cute and say something innovative and groundbreaking like, “I’m hungry”.
Eat. If you are in a meal-consumption situation, please consume the food like you are enjoying it. Unless of course the guy is an ass that took you to a horrible place to eat. Barring that, it is painful, and I’m speaking from experience here, when you’re there eating a delicious meal and your lady friend is taking rabbit-sized-bites out of a salad.
Drop the phone. I think younger girls have a tendency to do this more often than older women, but it is horribly annoying when you are trying to have a conversation with someone that can’t take their eyes off their phone. This is also considered rude for all you kids that never learned proper manners while you were growing up. Be engaging and responsive.
Be a conversationalist. After all if you are on a date, there’s only two people involved presumably. Don’t be the bitch that sits there acting like she’s bored. In addition, it isn’t always fun for guys if all they hear during your date are things your friends did. Chances are A) he doesn’t know your friends personally, and B) those stories aren’t half as funny as you think they are.
Be diplomatic. There are plenty of ways to say, “Hey, this isn’t working out.” No need to be cold or a total asshole about it. Trust me, it feels just as crappy for guys as it does for girls. If all else fails, stick him in the friend zone. It worked for all the other hearts you broke. Who knows? Maybe you can torture him with stories about how jilted you feel because of all the asshole guys you fall for.
Honesty is always good. Be straightforward and don’t put up a front. Why would you? This is the time to let your potential long-term-boyfriend know that you are human too and you have your quirks. Have bad habits? Let him know. Use the light, funny atmosphere to warm him up to the worst side of you. Unless you want to be the jackass that soaks your panties in his sink then asks me to get tampons at the market to assert your feminine dominance for no other reason than to brag to your girlfriends… I had some weird exes…
Enjoy the buzz, don’t be that girl that falls and trips over herself. Guys only SAY that’s cute. It really isn’t. There’s nothing wrong with not being able to drink a lot. Just don’t push yourself until you pass out because that invites all sorts of trouble and… well it just isn’t appealing. Nothing wrong with having one or two drinks (or half depending on your tolerance). Remember, a date isn’t the same as hanging out with your friends. First impressions can never be made a second time, don’t waste the opportunity.
Don’t kill the chase too early. If you do want that long-term situation, the worst thing you can do is give in to a guy’s advances too fast. Yes, it is a normal part of a relationship, but that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t work for it. Unlike other myths, this one is true. Guys love the chase and nothing that’s worth the wait happens in the first few hours of meeting someone.
Have fun and show that you’re having a good time. Chemistry isn’t built overnight and love never happens at first sight. That’s lust and infatuation. Part of building that chemistry is enjoying each other’s company. Nothing kills a first date like a girl that acts like she has something better to do. If you DO have something better to do, go do it.
Well that’s it. I won’t guarantee that every first date will be awesome, but if you do follow the road map above, they won’t be horrible. Unless of course the guy is utterly boring and ridiculously dumb. If that’s the case, just end it and walk away. Finding the “right guy” isn’t a one day job. Have the patience and the composure to keep searching. After all, if you are involved with someone that you don’t want to be with, that just removes you from the pool of potential girlfriends that perfect guy is looking for his other half in.
Sidebar: As a note for all the guys out there that are in that first date situation. AskMen.com reports that 80% of men spend on average $100 bucks on dating a month. Conversely, women spend less than $50. Don’t be a cheap ass. Pick up the bill.