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The Perfect Man

I’ve been catching some heat from our readers lately that I write outside my realm of expertise. Specifically, my last piece on what Girls Should and Should Not Do on Dates and the one previous about The “Perfect” Woman, incited several debates about how ridiculous it was that I was offering advice to women that wanted long-term relationships when in fact, I have not been in one since college (true story). I won’t sit here defending what I wrote, but I will say I stand by it and will gladly do so in the comment sections of those pieces (why is it so hard to get people to write comments on our site as opposed to Facebook?!)! But that really got me thinking…

So what would be the best way for me to deliver real advice to our readers all the while not incurring the wrath of disgruntled serial daters that feel the need to hate? After several minutes of contemplation, it hit me… Why not ask some beautiful girls of different ages what they are looking for so I won’t have to make shit up? BOOM!

To preface this, I personally know all these ladies. They are all attractive, smart, and a pleasure to hang with. I was not romantically involved with any of these young women, but I do have knowledge of people they’ve dated in the past and a general idea of what they’re looking for. To preserve their anonymity, I won’t be giving away any details about them, but what I will say is that each one was chosen to represent a specific age group starting at the wild age of 21, all the way through the refined age of 33. Each young lady falls within their prospective group and for the most part are not on one extreme or another. In addition, all these women are college educated and are currently working professionals.

The Age Groups I know not everyone will fall into these categories and subsequent descriptions, but generalizations are so much fun!

21 – 23 Here, we’re looking at an age range of pure fun and a lot of nightlife activity. Some common symptoms of young women in this age group may include binge drinking and spontaneous partying.

24 – 26 This group is represented by the loads of young women who have just begun their journey into the real world and those who chose to extend their blissful life of schooling by entering the ranks of those pursuing graduate degrees.

27 – 29 While some of these ladies are still in the clutches of their respective graduate programs and/or corporate obligations, they are in what I like to call the “holy shit I wanna get married” age.

30 – 33 Single women in this age group tend to conform to two schools of thought. The first of course is the “who needs a man anyway” group. The second, “why can’t I find a decent guy” group.

So a lot of people say that it’s hard to find the right person. What three qualities do you feel are most important in a significant other?

21 – 23 Cute, of course. He should have a sense of humor. He should also have big dreams and the potential to fulfill his goals.

24 – 26 Someone who cares about how he looks, especially if it’s for a date. Someone who pays attention to minute details like planning little surprises or getting me something small like the lotion or chap-stick I love. Someone who is responsible and admirable… whether it be that they are smarter than I am in areas I’m not fond of, or good at sports that I’m not good at… someone that I can look up to and rely on.

27 – 29 Wise enough to know when to shut up; smart enough to carry the relationship; loving and adoring. Basically, husband material, what most women are looking for at my age.

30 – 33 Ambition. That one’s really important to me. Then, someone who makes me laugh and who I can have fun with, even if it’s in an empty room. Finally, someone who makes me feel beautiful inside and out.

A lot of guys and girls tell me that dating is difficult and at times awkward. What was your best date experience?

21 – 24 My best date experience… That’s a difficult one to say, there weren’t that many that were that memorable. If I had to choose, it would have been one Valentine’s Day, my first love and I met at an outdoor mall. We had a cute movie lunch date and then walked together for what seemed like ages and just talked. Afterward, I took him to his lacrosse practice… Watching him was pretty hot and a great way to end an awesome day.

24 – 26 My best date experience was when a boyfriend planned out a whole day’s worth of things to do with multiple options for each activity that was planned just in case it turned out I didn’t like what he had decided. It was a day trip to Santa Barbara and I think the reason I liked it so much was that he took the time to figure out what he thought I wanted AND made several back up plans. Trust me, it’s hard enough to get some guys to plan even an hour’s worth of things to do. It was his effort that made it amazing.

27 – 29 I think a lot of people have the misconception that a guy needs to spend a lot of money to take a girl on a great date. My best date was dinner at a hole-in-the-wall diner that lasted for hours. We ate, we talked, and I didn’t even realize time was passing. There was a hint of romance, but it wasn’t at all overbearing and it ended with a sweet good night kiss on the cheek.

30 – 33 I keep going back to when one of my boyfriends picked me up from the airport. We hadn’t seen each other for three weeks and I literally ran into his arms, he picked me up, and it was probably the best kiss I’ve ever had in my life (thus far… hope it doesn’t end there). We had a really casual dinner with a bit of alcohol and ended up talking all night.

So there you have it folks. From four ladies you would gladly want to see on a regular basis and have years of dating experience. I think there are several things all you men in our readership can take away from this piece. First, it DOES matter that you know how to groom yourself. It helps to be funny. Women are definitely looking for a conversationalist. Money isn’t as important as you may think. And finally, you need to go that extra mile. Hey, everyone wants to feel special right? All-in-all, a set of very doable requirements that don’t require a trust fund or a model-esque physique.

I think the most important lesson to take away is that a lot of the hang-ups people have on dating and pursuing women, are imposed by society or simply, by ourselves. At the end of the day, women are looking for a connection that goes beyond the simple, “hey, you’re hot” or “did it hurt when you fell from heaven” one-liners. After all, this thing we call love isn’t purely superficial or physical, there is something else. An X-factor if you will. Let’s be perfectly honest, it isn’t hard to get sex. If physical intimacy is all you’re looking for then by all means, do what you do playa. However, if you want something MORE than the awkward morning departure or an inebriated romp in the sheets, women want a real, emotional investment.  Share a bit, listen a lot, and make her feel beautiful, inside and out. Ya dig?

Alex S. Pak
A young professional with a passion for rhetoric. He was born and raised in Southern California where he attended high school and college. Alex focused his studies on the humanities and is a keen observer of the human condition. In is spare time, enjoys reading, watching movies, and partying like a rock star.
http://www.facebook.com/alex.s.pak

2 thoughts on “The Perfect Man

  1. Are these ladies being 100% honest with us? I suspect that there’s a difference between what they say they want and what they truly want. No self-respecting woman wants to portray herself as a gold-digger.

    1. Haha That’s a great question! I have and some informal discussions with some of our followers about that very issue. To be frank, there’s no way that I can tell you with 100% certainty that financial security isn’t on the list of qualities for a perfect beau; however, I can say that these ladies don’t consider that to be within the top 3 qualities they look for. More to the point, I think that emotional support plays a much bigger role than financial security. That being said, I think all women love being able to rely on their partners emotionally, spiritually, physically, and financially. Let’s say it’s probably a close 4th on all their lists. Fair compromise?

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