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Lazy Laws

confused-lawyer-e1316104531436Every once in a while, you hear about antiquated laws that make no sense yet still exist in this world. There’s even several websites dedicated to it. It’s pretty funny. Check it out. My favorite in California is a law that bans animals from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship. Take that you stupid animals! That’ll teach you to make babies near our priests and children. The gall!

saggy-jeans

You would think that politicians today have more common sense and wouldn’t resort to making laws that literally do nothing but sound good on paper. But they don’t. Remember how Florida tried to ban sagging pants as a way to curb crime caused by kids and improve their school grades? This law did none of that. Saggy pants is, sadly, associated with being in a gang. I guess that could be kinda scary. But, does making someone pull up their saggy pants make them any less of a gangster? I guess it depends whether or not they were really in a gang to begin with. You can never really tell in California. For me, I like to keep it simple.

 

bingo

In North Carolina, it is illegal to hold more than two sessions of bingo per week, and those sessions may not exceed 5 hours a session. I feel bad for the grandparents in North Carolina. What are they going to do with their time and money now that they can’t play bingo whenever they want? What else is there to do in North Carolina?

In Walnut, California, you’re not allowed to wear a mask or disguise on a public street without a permit from the sheriff. He must make a lot of money during Halloween. Whether or not that law actually prevents crimes that involve the use of masks and disguises, we’ll never know.

Here’s another animal-related law that makes me laugh. It’s illegal in Baltimore to take a lion to the movies. Whoever was the first and most likely last person to do this was most likely a genius. Imagine using this beast to get the best seats in the house. I imagine the conversation going something like, “Sir. I do believe you are in my seat. Don’t believe me? Maybe my friend here can convince you otherwise.” But in all seriousness, common sense would probably tell you that bringing a lion out in public is probably not a safe. But it would be awesome.

In New Orleans, Louisiana, you’re not allowed to curse firefighters while they are performing their duties. They’re people too. They have feelings. And sometimes, feelings get in the way and distract people from their work. I guess when you’re trying to put out a fire, the last thing you need on your mind is the fact that some stranger doesn’t like you. Or this might happen…

funny fireman

Every once in a while, the government redeems itself by taking these old laws out of books. Did you know that it used to be illegal to catch rain water in Colorado. They had it on lockdown. It’s strange since there’s no way Colorado could have caught all of the rain water. It makes me wonder if they sent bills to everyone after a rainy day. I mean, if your lawn soaked up all of the water that should have gone to the state, then it’s only right that you pay for it, right? Or would they count it as stealing and send the thief to jail?

#1 Line

True it took science to show what should have already been obvious: most of the rain either evaporated or was soaked up by the trees. It’s a sign at least that we’re heading in the right direction.

If you know of any laws that you find funny and nonsensical, please post them in the comments section below.

Jun Kim
Jun Kim is a writer based out of Los Angeles, California. After graduating with a B.A. in Comparative Literature, he worked as a researcher for a prominent Orange County law firm. Currently he is the head technical writer for a corporate tax consulting firm who splits his day between analyzing tax credit studies and sneaking naps in his office. A self-professed lover of EDM and gamer extraordinaire who loves concerts and moonlit strolls to liquor stores.

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