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Dan’s Top5 Internet Finds (6/23/2014)

We’re in the midst of the World Cup. As an American my favorite thing about the World Cup is to become a huge fan of USA soccer during it…but pretty much only to irritate everyone who enjoys this sport year round.  Once USA is eliminated, it’s back to “soccer sucks anyway.”  FREEDOMMMMMMM!  Here’s my Top5 from the past week:

1. WORST DESIGNS OF THE WEEK

found at BuzzFeed.com

1. This crime against graphs:

This crime against graphs:

2. “EURROPE”:

"EURROPE":

3. This hot dog stand:

This hot dog stand:

4. “POO LIFE”:

"POO LIFE":

5. This great disservice to Matt Damon:

This great disservice to Matt Damon:

6. This drug-dealin’ pencil:

This drug-dealin' pencil:

7. This heartwarming card:

This heartwarming card:

8. “Shit yourself”:

"Shit yourself":

9. This unfortunate font choice:

This unfortunate font choice:

10. This kindhearted welcome:

This kindhearted welcome:

11. “HRU A LUP L4 THE ENGE”:

"HRU A LUP L4 THE ENGE":

12. This hat:

This hat:

13. This company logo:

This company logo:

14. This political statement:

This political statement:

15. This ad for artisanal cheese:

The 31 Worst Things That Have Ever Happened To Design

Well, at least I know how to spell “artisanal” now.

16. This academic survey:

This academic survey:

17. This helpful reminder:

This helpful reminder:

18. “NATASHA, THE BALL”:

"NATASHA, THE BALL":

19. This useless eraser placement:

This useless eraser placement:

20. This religious statement:

This religious statement:

21. “LIVE YOUR I WASN’T ONE”:

"LIVE YOUR I WASN'T ONE":

22. “Never say I Cola’t”:

"Never say I Cola't":

23. This slightly sexual Levi’s shirt:

This slightly sexual Levi's shirt:

24. “NOT ALL THOSE WHOW AND EARER LOST”:

"NOT ALL THOSE WHOW AND EARER LOST":

25. 2010^4:

2010^4:

26. “PACKED WITH TASTELESS SUGAR”:

"PACKED WITH TASTELESS SUGAR":

27. “INEX HAHA LELE”:

"INEX HAHA LELE":

28. This hospital that apparently specializes in hanging families:

This hospital that apparently specializes in hanging families:

29. This bird with two mouths:

This bird with two mouths:

30. This computer stand that looks like it’s takin’ a poop:

This computer stand that looks like it's takin' a poop:

2. POWERFUL IMAGES OF THE WEEK

found at Umbrelr.com

3 weeks old infant with albinism snuggles up to his cousin for a snooze.
3 weeks old infant with albinism snuggles up to his cousin for a snooze.


100,000 monks in prayer for a better world
100,000 monks in prayer for a better world


355-934x


374-934x


448-934x


17 year old Jan Rose Kasmir offers a flower to soldiers during the Pentagon anti-war protest in 1967.
17 year old Jan Rose Kasmir offers a flower to soldiers during the Pentagon anti-war protest in 1967.


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481-934x


Dr. Religa monitors his patient’s vitals after a 23 hour long heart transplant surgery. His assistant is sleeping in the corner. [1987]
Dr. Religa monitors his patient's vitals after a 23 hour long heart transplant surgery. His assistant is sleeping in the corner. [1987]
The patient not only survived the surgery, but outlived his doctor.
The patient not only survived the surgery, but outlived his doctor.


Hamid Sardar captures a tribal Chhetri woman in Nepal. [2009]
Hamid Sardar captures a tribal Chhetri woman in Nepal. [2009]


538-934x


562-934x


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A North Korean waves at his South Korean brother after inter-Korean temporary family reunions.
A North Korean waves at his South Korean brother after inter-Korean temporary family reunions.


581-934x


636-934x


The child of a KKK member touches his reflection in an African American police officer’s riot shield during a demonstration. [1992]
The child of a KKK member touches his reflection in an African American police officer's riot shield during a demonstration. [1992]


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Lt. Colonel Robert L. Stirm is reunited with his family after being taken prisoner during the Vietnam war.
Lt. Colonel Robert L. Stirm is reunited with his family after being taken prisoner during the Vietnam war.


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Sergeant Frank Praytor looks after a two-week old kitten during the height of the Korean War.
Sergeant Frank Praytor looks after a two-week old kitten during the height of the Korean War.


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A man protests in Tiananmen Square, Beijing [1989]
A man protests in Tiananmen Square, Beijing [1989]


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A boy crosses a London street in the 1960s with a toy double decker.
A boy crosses a London street in the 1960s with a toy double decker.


A Brazilian protester stands before gunfire during protests against corruption and police brutality.
A Brazilian protester stands before gunfire during protests against corruption and police brutality.


591-934x


A bus of caring people save a woman who tried to commit suicide in China.
A bus of caring people save a woman who tried to commit suicide in China.


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A child of the Erbore tribe, Ethiopia
A child of the Erbore tribe, Ethiopia


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A curious Afghan girl holds the hand of an American soldier.
A curious Afghan girl holds the hand of an American soldier.


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A journalist dashes across a bridge between to rescue a baby during Civil War. [1936]
A journalist dashes across a bridge between to rescue a baby during Civil War. [1936]


A Mursi tribe woman discovers Vogue magazine, Ethiopia
A Mursi tribe woman discovers Vogue magazine, Ethiopia


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A Rwandan boy left scarred after being liberated from a death camp.
A Rwandan boy left scarred after being liberated from a death camp.


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Agim Shala is passed through a barbed wire fence to his grandparents at a camp for refugees of the Kosovo War
Agim Shala is passed through a barbed wire fence to his grandparents at a camp for refugees of the Kosovo War


An Irish teenager yells at British soldiers during unrest in Northern Ireland
An Irish teenager yells at British soldiers during unrest in Northern Ireland


2221-934x


Anna Fisher, astronaut, with stars in her eyes on the cover of Life magazine in 1985. She was the first mother in space.
Anna Fisher, astronaut, with stars in her eyes on the cover of Life magazine in 1985. She was the first mother in space.


Captain Donald Spindler pulls 6 year-old Aaliyah Frazier from a fire in Indiana
Captain Donald Spindler pulls 6 year-old Aaliyah Frazier from a fire in Indiana


1821-934x


Caroline Joan Peixoto, City Arts, photographed classical ballet students at rehearsal in Rwanda’s only classical ballet school. This school has given the Kigali community incredible hope as the first post-genocide ballet school.
Caroline Joan Peixoto, City Arts,


Clara Gantt is reunited with her husband’s body after more than 60 years. Sergeant Joseph Grantt went missing during the Korean war.
Clara Gantt is reunited with her husband's body after more than 60 years. Sergeant Joseph Grantt went missing during the Korean war.


2513-934x


Papua New Guinea woman during a Singsing celebration in Mount Hagen
Papua New Guinea woman during a Singsing celebration in Mount Hagen


4111-934x


Protester plays piano over the sounds of chaos, with riot police in the backdrop.
Protester plays piano over the sounds of chaos, with riot police in the backdrop.


Skater girls in Tehran.
Skater girls in Tehran.


2019-934x


Supporters celebrate as Minnesota legalizes gay marriage
Supporters celebrate as Minnesota legalizes gay marriage


Thania Sayne leans on the headstone of her husband the day before their wedding anniversary on 16 October 2013.
Thania Sayne leans on the headstone of her husband the day before their wedding anniversary on 16 October 2013.


The tattoo of wounded soldier Kyle Hockenberry becomes truth
The tattoo of wounded soldier Kyle Hockenberry becomes truth


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Violinist, Nancy Dinovo, cries while playing during a service at Christ Church Cathedral in downtown Vancouver for the September 11 victims.
Violinist, Nancy Dinovo, cries while playing during a service at Christ Church Cathedral in downtown Vancouver for the September 11 victims.Source: Distractify

3. STAR WARS VIDEO OF THE WEEK

“Some man  took all the lines from Star Wars that are spoken in English and divided the footage into a clip per word. He then took the 11,684 resulting bits and alphabetized them.”

4. FACE SWAPS OF THE WEEK

Found, again at BuzzFeed.com

1. Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway

Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway

2. Sebastian, Ariel, and Prince Eric:

Sebastian, Ariel, and Prince Eric:

3. A girl and a dog:

A girl and a dog:

4. Newt and Callista Gingrich:

Newt and Callista Gingrich:

5. Girls and gingerbread men:

Girls and gingerbread men:

6. A girl and a doll:

A girl and a doll:

7. A man and a baby:

A man and a baby:

8. Mitt and Ann Romney:

Mitt and Ann Romney:

9. A boy and his torso:

A boy and his torso:

10. A man and a jack-o’-lantern:

A man and a jack-o'-lantern:

AHHH NIGHTMARES

11. Woody and a Disney fan:

Woody and a Disney fan:

12. A boy and a dolphin:

A boy and a dolphin:

13. Michael Jordan and a basketball:

Michael Jordan and a basketball:

14. Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox:

Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox:

15. A man and a burger:

A man and a burger:

16. A girl and a pitbull:

A girl and a pitbull:

17. A girl and a chicken:

A girl and a chicken:

18. Barack and Michelle Obama:

Barack and Michelle Obama:

19. A man and his shirt:

A man and his shirt:

20. A girl and a horse:

A girl and a horse:

21. A man and his dog:

A man and his dog:

22. These parents and kids:

These parents and kids:

23. Jim and Pam:

Jim and Pam:

24. Scott and Mason Disick:

Scott and Mason Disick:

25. A lady and a Weimaraner:

A lady and a Weimaraner:

26. A man and a baby:

A man and a baby:

27. A hunter and a deer:

A hunter and a deer:

28. Shaq and a seal:

Shaq and a seal:

29. A woman, a cat, and a MacBook:

A woman, a cat, and a MacBook:

30. The ShamWow guy and a ShamWow:

The ShamWow guy and a ShamWow:

31. A boy and his corn:

A boy and his corn:

32. A girl and a cat:

A girl and a cat:

33. A girl and a watermelon:

A girl and a watermelon:

34. A man, a dog, and a T-shirt:

A man, a dog, and a T-shirt:

35. And finally, Bob Ross and a beautiful tree:

And finally, Bob Ross and a beautiful tree:

5. CLEVER (NSFW) HOUSEHOLD TIPS OF THE WEEK 

found at BadGirlsBible.com

1. Fake Vagina Dish Towel Holder

Keeping those dish towels close by, but out of the way can be a tricky proposition. Thankfully we’ve found a tasteful and elegant solution with a tight grip to fit seamlessly with your kitchen.

fake-vagina-sex-toy-towel-holder

2. Suction Cup Dildo Loo Roll Holder

Looking for a tasteful way to add some “je ne sais quoi” to your bathroom without spending a fortune? Hello Kitty toilet paper optional…

suction-dildo-loo-roll-holder

3. Ring Toss With Butt Plugs & Cock Rings

Your son may be begging for the latest video game console, but remind him that stretching your imagination is important as sometimes the simplest games are also the most pleasurable.

cock-ring-butt-plug-ring-toss

4. Dildo Door Stop

Say “No” to scuffs, scratches and unsightly scrapes with this unobtrusive door stop.

suction-cup-dildo-doorstop

5. Butt Plug Juicer

A perfect way to start your day is with some freshly squeezed, organic orange juice.

butt-plug-orange-juicer-squeezer

Here it is in action!

butt-plug-juicer

6. Sex Doll Fashion Mannequin

Not sure what to wear tomorrow? Why not use a fashion mannequin to figure out what pieces work best together.

blow-up-sex-doll-mannequin

7. A Lousy Coat Hook

Unfortunately, some things don’t always work out as planned

suction-dildo-clothes-hook

8. Penis Extender Chair Leg Protectors

Save your floor from scratches and scuffs by using these colorful chair leg protectors.

penis-extender-floor-protectors-for-chair-legs

9. Fake Vagina Pen Holder

Always have a pen at the ready to write down your deepest ideas.

fake-vagina-pen-holder

10. Wrist Restraints Curtain Tieback

Lack of lighting can dampen the mood of most rooms. So use a good curtain tieback that will hold any curtain away from the window, no matter how much it struggles, fights and tries to get away…

wrist-restraint-curtain-tiebacks

11. Fake Vagina Cigarette Filter

While we’re anti smoking at the Bad Girl’s Bible, some people do enjoy a cigarette after sex.

smoking-fake-vagina

12. Anal Bead Necklace

If you’re on a budget and don’t want to drop more money on jewelry, then it’s time to improvise…
anal-bead-sex-toy-necklace

13. Giant Dildo Bookend

“A cluttered house is a cluttered mind”, that’s a phrase that’s so salient. So make sure to use a big, heavy bookend to keep your books tightly & firmly in place.

giant-dildo-bookend

14. Nipple Clamp Glasses Necklace

Hands up if you ever have trouble finding your glasses! It happens to the best of us, but it doesn’t need to happen anymore with an adjustable glasses holder necklace

glasses-necklace-holder

15. Pocket Pussy Beer Koozie/Stubby Holder

Nothing beats a cold, refreshing beverage on a hot summers day. Keep it cool with this simple tip

penis-sleeve-masturbator-beer-cooler

16. Penis Sleeve Sports Grips

A firm grip on your tennis racket or golf club ensures great ball control. The same can be said when you’re swinging for that shuttle cock.

penis-sleeve-sports-grips

17. Suction Cup Dildo Fridge Handles

It’s frustrating when the handle on your fridge breaks off. Even worse when the second one breaks too! Thankfully there is a stylish solution for opening and closing your fridge.

suction-dildos-fridge-door-handles

18. Butt Plug Wine Stopper

You’ll never need to worry about your wine spoiling again with this playful wine stopper.

butt-plug-wine-cork

19. Fake Vagina Headrest

Sitting for long periods without good neck and head support is silly if you care about your health. Thankfully this headrest makes your head & neck feel like they’re trapped between a little bit of heaven.

fake-vagina-headrest

20. Double Ball Gag Ear Defenders

Working in loud, noisy environments can do long term damage to your hearing. Stay safe and keep things quiet with these opulent ear defenders.

ballgag-ear-defenders-protectors

21. Nipple Clamp Photo Holders

Hang your memories on the wall to remind yourself of times past.

nipple-clamp-photo-holders

22. Butt Plug Sink Plug

Sink plugs always seem to disappear without a trace. Now you have a back up plan.

butt-plug-sink-plug

23. Knuckle Duster Dildo Cable Organizer

No matter what you do, your headphones cables are going to get tangled with the rest of your computer cables…unless you take some aggressive action with a cable organizer.

didldo-knuckle-duster

24. Giant Dildo Lamp Base

After you choose a style of lamp you find attractive, make sure to check that it has a sturdy base.

giant-dildo-dong-lamp

25. Penis Extender Umbrella Handle

The last thing you want to let go of when there is a downpour is your umbrella. The right grip is essential if you don’t want to get your hair wet.

penis-extender-umbrella-grip

26. Lube Launcher Shot Glasses

Here’s a fun new way to get socially lubricated.

lube-launcher-shot-glass

27. Rubber Fist Letter Holder

Organizing your mail just got a little easier thanks to this punchy mail holder.

ruber-fist-mail-letter-holder

28. Penis Pump Plunger

While the rest of these ideas are fun, this penis pump is just incredibly useful if you have a blocked sink or drain. It just sucks everything out of it. I’m totally serious by the way!

penis-pump-sink-unblocker

29. Rubber Fist Jewelry Model

Get jewelry inspiration and discover what fits best.

rubber-fist-jewelery-hand-model

30. Penis Sleeve Car Customizations

All you ricers out there are gonna love the latest accessories to make your car look ridiculous.

penis-sleeve-gearstick-handbrake

 

Check out all the past Top5′s HERE.

If you’re on Twitter, follow me here.
If you’re on Instagram, so am I.

Dan Wiberg
Dan Wiberg lives in South Korea where he is a university "professor" and on and off stand up comic. He grew up enjoying the beautiful beaches of Tampa Bay, Florida. After graduating with a degree in anthropology (this degree legally allows him to tell racist jokes), he came across an internet ad to teach in Asian in 2009. He's been in Korea ever since. He started doing stand-up and his biggest credits to date are opening for Tom Rhodes and doing a three day comedy tour throughout Korea with his group of comedy pals (the Waygoonies). Dan says stuff on Twitter sometimes @DanWiberg.

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