We’re in the midst of the World Cup. As an American my favorite thing about the World Cup is to become a huge fan of USA soccer during it…but pretty much only to irritate everyone who enjoys this sport year round. Once USA is eliminated, it’s back to “soccer sucks anyway.” FREEDOMMMMMMM! Here’s my Top5 from the past week:
1. WORST DESIGNS OF THE WEEK
found at BuzzFeed.com
1. This crime against graphs:
3. This hot dog stand:
4. “POO LIFE”:
5. This great disservice to Matt Damon:
6. This drug-dealin’ pencil:
7. This heartwarming card:
8. “Shit yourself”:
9. This unfortunate font choice:
10. This kindhearted welcome:
11. “HRU A LUP L4 THE ENGE”:
12. This hat:
13. This company logo:
14. This political statement:
15. This ad for artisanal cheese:
Well, at least I know how to spell “artisanal” now.
16. This academic survey:
17. This helpful reminder:
18. “NATASHA, THE BALL”:
19. This useless eraser placement:
20. This religious statement:
21. “LIVE YOUR I WASN’T ONE”:
22. “Never say I Cola’t”:
23. This slightly sexual Levi’s shirt:
24. “NOT ALL THOSE WHOW AND EARER LOST”:
26. “PACKED WITH TASTELESS SUGAR”:
27. “INEX HAHA LELE”:
28. This hospital that apparently specializes in hanging families:
29. This bird with two mouths:
30. This computer stand that looks like it’s takin’ a poop:
2. POWERFUL IMAGES OF THE WEEK
Dr. Religa monitors his patient’s vitals after a 23 hour long heart transplant surgery. His assistant is sleeping in the corner. 
The patient not only survived the surgery, but outlived his doctor.
Caroline Joan Peixoto, City Arts, photographed classical ballet students at rehearsal in Rwanda’s only classical ballet school. This school has given the Kigali community incredible hope as the first post-genocide ballet school.
Violinist, Nancy Dinovo, cries while playing during a service at Christ Church Cathedral in downtown Vancouver for the September 11 victims.
3. STAR WARS VIDEO OF THE WEEK
“Some man took all the lines from Star Wars that are spoken in English and divided the footage into a clip per word. He then took the 11,684 resulting bits and alphabetized them.”
4. FACE SWAPS OF THE WEEK
Found, again at BuzzFeed.com
1. Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway
2. Sebastian, Ariel, and Prince Eric:
3. A girl and a dog:
4. Newt and Callista Gingrich:
5. Girls and gingerbread men:
6. A girl and a doll:
7. A man and a baby:
8. Mitt and Ann Romney:
9. A boy and his torso:
10. A man and a jack-o’-lantern:
11. Woody and a Disney fan:
12. A boy and a dolphin:
13. Michael Jordan and a basketball:
14. Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox:
15. A man and a burger:
16. A girl and a pitbull:
17. A girl and a chicken:
18. Barack and Michelle Obama:
19. A man and his shirt:
20. A girl and a horse:
21. A man and his dog:
22. These parents and kids:
23. Jim and Pam:
24. Scott and Mason Disick:
25. A lady and a Weimaraner:
26. A man and a baby:
27. A hunter and a deer:
28. Shaq and a seal:
29. A woman, a cat, and a MacBook:
30. The ShamWow guy and a ShamWow:
31. A boy and his corn:
32. A girl and a cat:
33. A girl and a watermelon:
34. A man, a dog, and a T-shirt:
35. And finally, Bob Ross and a beautiful tree:
5. CLEVER (NSFW) HOUSEHOLD TIPS OF THE WEEK
found at BadGirlsBible.com
1. Fake Vagina Dish Towel Holder
Keeping those dish towels close by, but out of the way can be a tricky proposition. Thankfully we’ve found a tasteful and elegant solution with a tight grip to fit seamlessly with your kitchen.
2. Suction Cup Dildo Loo Roll Holder
Looking for a tasteful way to add some “je ne sais quoi” to your bathroom without spending a fortune? Hello Kitty toilet paper optional…
3. Ring Toss With Butt Plugs & Cock Rings
Your son may be begging for the latest video game console, but remind him that stretching your imagination is important as sometimes the simplest games are also the most pleasurable.
4. Dildo Door Stop
Say “No” to scuffs, scratches and unsightly scrapes with this unobtrusive door stop.
5. Butt Plug Juicer
A perfect way to start your day is with some freshly squeezed, organic orange juice.
Here it is in action!
6. Sex Doll Fashion Mannequin
Not sure what to wear tomorrow? Why not use a fashion mannequin to figure out what pieces work best together.
7. A Lousy Coat Hook
Unfortunately, some things don’t always work out as planned
8. Penis Extender Chair Leg Protectors
Save your floor from scratches and scuffs by using these colorful chair leg protectors.
9. Fake Vagina Pen Holder
Always have a pen at the ready to write down your deepest ideas.
10. Wrist Restraints Curtain Tieback
Lack of lighting can dampen the mood of most rooms. So use a good curtain tieback that will hold any curtain away from the window, no matter how much it struggles, fights and tries to get away…
11. Fake Vagina Cigarette Filter
While we’re anti smoking at the Bad Girl’s Bible, some people do enjoy a cigarette after sex.
12. Anal Bead Necklace
If you’re on a budget and don’t want to drop more money on jewelry, then it’s time to improvise…
13. Giant Dildo Bookend
“A cluttered house is a cluttered mind”, that’s a phrase that’s so salient. So make sure to use a big, heavy bookend to keep your books tightly & firmly in place.
14. Nipple Clamp Glasses Necklace
Hands up if you ever have trouble finding your glasses! It happens to the best of us, but it doesn’t need to happen anymore with an adjustable glasses holder necklace
15. Pocket Pussy Beer Koozie/Stubby Holder
Nothing beats a cold, refreshing beverage on a hot summers day. Keep it cool with this simple tip
16. Penis Sleeve Sports Grips
A firm grip on your tennis racket or golf club ensures great ball control. The same can be said when you’re swinging for that shuttle cock.
17. Suction Cup Dildo Fridge Handles
It’s frustrating when the handle on your fridge breaks off. Even worse when the second one breaks too! Thankfully there is a stylish solution for opening and closing your fridge.
18. Butt Plug Wine Stopper
You’ll never need to worry about your wine spoiling again with this playful wine stopper.
19. Fake Vagina Headrest
Sitting for long periods without good neck and head support is silly if you care about your health. Thankfully this headrest makes your head & neck feel like they’re trapped between a little bit of heaven.
20. Double Ball Gag Ear Defenders
Working in loud, noisy environments can do long term damage to your hearing. Stay safe and keep things quiet with these opulent ear defenders.
21. Nipple Clamp Photo Holders
Hang your memories on the wall to remind yourself of times past.
22. Butt Plug Sink Plug
Sink plugs always seem to disappear without a trace. Now you have a back up plan.
23. Knuckle Duster Dildo Cable Organizer
No matter what you do, your headphones cables are going to get tangled with the rest of your computer cables…unless you take some aggressive action with a cable organizer.
24. Giant Dildo Lamp Base
After you choose a style of lamp you find attractive, make sure to check that it has a sturdy base.
25. Penis Extender Umbrella Handle
The last thing you want to let go of when there is a downpour is your umbrella. The right grip is essential if you don’t want to get your hair wet.
26. Lube Launcher Shot Glasses
Here’s a fun new way to get socially lubricated.
27. Rubber Fist Letter Holder
Organizing your mail just got a little easier thanks to this punchy mail holder.
28. Penis Pump Plunger
While the rest of these ideas are fun, this penis pump is just incredibly useful if you have a blocked sink or drain. It just sucks everything out of it. I’m totally serious by the way!
29. Rubber Fist Jewelry Model
Get jewelry inspiration and discover what fits best.
30. Penis Sleeve Car Customizations
All you ricers out there are gonna love the latest accessories to make your car look ridiculous.