Last week none of my so-called “friends” liked my Top5 on Facebook. You think I don’t notice these things?! If you’re reading this right now, you are grounded. No TV. No phone. Go straight to your room and do your homework. After you look at these 5 things, of course (and like and share on the internets):
1. JOG VIDEO of the week
2. NECESSARY THINGS of the week
Movie theaters with screens in the bathroom so you don’t miss anything.
360 degree wall outlets.
This app that unsubscribes you from spam mail by simply taking a picture of it.
Even better if the theater has bean bag seats.
Traffic lights with countdown indicators.
A pen that lets you scan and write in any color.
A bike helmet that folds up.
Wall outlets with USB chargers.
It should also come with a built-in night light.
And the ultimate outlet would also have extension cords built into the wall.
Small tiles you can attach to your keys, wallet, computer, or pretty much anything. If you lose anything, you can then look up their location on your smartphone.
Fresh pizza vending machines.
Benches that you can turn to always have a dry seat.
Power strips that you can expand and rotate.
Mug that catches any drips.
Parking garages with lights showing open spaces.
Stairs with slides.
Supermarkets with build your own 12-packs of soda.
Magnetic light switch covers.
How to stop littering.
Where was this when I was in school?
Device that charges your phone from hot or cold drinks.
Or this solar powered charger.
Water fountains with built-in water bottle filling station.
Subways where you can pay by recycling.
Device to lift the Pringles up.
A fun way to clean.
A hair brush that is easy to clean.
Earbuds that won’t tangle.
USB rechargeable batteries.
Packing tape that is easy to open.
Bike racks that don’t take up sidewalk space.
Caution signs that are funny.
4. HISTORICAL PHOTOS of the week
Humans are Nuts! 40 Historical Photos.
He who forgets or ignores is doomed to repeat or perpetuate. Awareness for the win!
Did you know that Porsche designed the Beetle, for Hitler? Did you know that Hugo Boss designed the Nazi Uniform! Subscribe, for more Nazi Fun Facts!
Execution by cannon, in Shiraz, Iran, mid-late 19th century.
The Royal Navy on the way home from France with Queen Victoria on board, who had just visited Napoleon III, 1858
This reminds me of this.
Climbers bringing down corpses of their fellows from Mont Blanc, 1895
Major General Horatio Gordon Robley with his collection of tattooed Maori heads, 1895
Gold diggers marching through Chilkoot pass, the only way towards Dawson City, 1898
Iceberg that had red and black paint on it. They believe that this is the iceberg that sank the Titanic. Photographed in 1912
Selfies circa 1920
Melted and damaged mannequins after a fire at Madam Tussaud’s Wax Museum in London, 1930
Wow. So modern, free, liberal, could be any decade.
1. Spill “milk” all over your kid’s most prized possession.
This splatter (which won’t harm your kid’s computer or anything else) is easily made using glue and soap. Learn how here.
2. Serve a dessert grilled cheese.
Your kids won’t be mad at you when they realize they get to eat poundcake and frosting. Learn more here.
3. A mashed potato sundae also makes for quite the surprise.
Act like the coolest parent ever and tell your kids you’ll be serving sundaes for dinner, that way when they realize their sundae is actually mashed potatoes and gravy, it can be their dinner. Learn more here.
4. Put a fake parking ticket on the windshield of your newly driving teen.
Download the PDF here for $5.
5. Stick googly eyes on the food in your refrigerator.
6. Tell your kids you’ve baked them a pan of brownies.
Er, make that brown E’s. Via Mrs. Goff’s Pre-K Tales.
7. Confuse your kid on the ride to school.
8. Stuff toilet paper into the toe of your kid’s shoes.
This is especially fun if you casually mention to your kid first thing in the morning that their feet look bigger.
9. Send your kid to school with a moldy sandwich.
The sandwich is fine, of course. It’s the sandwich bag that has green markings on it. Order a pack of moldy sandwich bags here for $4.99.
10. Freeze your kid’s morning cereal.
Put a bowl of your kid’s favorite cereal and milk in the freezer overnight, then watch in the morning as your unsuspecting kid clanks a spoon against the frozen milk. Learn more here.
11. Rig a ketchup bottle to squirt string instead of ketchup.
“Hot dogs are ready, kids. Tee-hee!” Learn how to make one here.
12. Sew one of your kid’s socks closed halfway down.
If you’re the sewing type this prank will leave you in stitches.
13. Make “chocolate chip cookies” out of mashed potatoes and black beans.
Find the recipe here.
14. Put a “for sale” sign in your front yard.
Want to take this prank to the next level? When your kid asks where you’re moving to, say, “Alaska.”
16. Make your kid think the principal called.
Use your best acting skills as you tell your worried kid the principal’s laundry list of complaints.
17. Take a photo of someone your kid cares about “floating” (like a parent, grandparent, or sibling), then show it to your kid and feign amazement.
“I can’t explain what happened, kids. Right now everything I know about the universe is upside down!”
18. Cover the remote sensor with a piece of tape.
Try not to laugh as your kid tries over and over to turn on the TV. Find this prank and some other good ones here.
19. Block the spout of your kid’s shampoo bottle.
Unscrew the cap, cover the top with saran wrap, then screw the cap back on and cut off the excess.
20. Put a twist on a sunny-side-up egg.
A halved peach in yogurt not only looks like an egg, but also makes a delicious breakfast. Learn more here.
21. Put a surprise in the mailbox.
This one is especially great for kids who regularly bring in the mail.
22. Squeeze a few drops of food coloring into the bottom of your kid’s bowl, then cover it with cereal.
When your kid pours the milk it will change colors as it rises to the top. Learn morehere.
23. Put a few dye pellets under the cap of your faucet.
Unscrew the cap to the faucet, put a pellet from an Easter egg kit under it, then screw the cap back on. This will make colored water come out of the faucet.
24. Make your kids chicken not pie with pudding and candy.
Learn how here.
25. Switch the bags inside two boxes of cereal.
This is especially funny if you switch your kid’s sweet cereal with dad’s bran flakes.
26. Change the settings on your kid’s mouse or trackpad.
In your computer’s settings you can make it so that the cursor goes in the opposite direction than it normally does.
27. Take a screencap of the desktop on your kid’s iPad or computer and leave it up full screen.
Your kid will be stumped why nothing happens when they touch or click on the icons.
28. Try this “dollar in a book” trick.
Sorry, kid. Mwahahahahaha!
30. Serve up a glass of juice that is really Jell-O.
That first sip will be classic. Learn more here.
31. You can also use gelatin to make this unusual glass of milk.
This “milk” actually is quite tasty and makes a sweet snack. Learn more here.
32. Paint a bar of soap with nail polish and leave it in the shower.
The soap won’t lather, which should give your kids fits as they try to get ready. Find this prank and others like it here.
33. When your kids are sleeping, switch them into each other’s bed.
Waking up in their sibling’s room is a hilarious way to start April Fools’ Day.
34. Pick up your kids from school wearing a funny wig.
When your kids ask about it tell them you went to the hairdresser while they were at school.
35. Plant “doughnut seeds.”
Ask your kids to plant some of these in the yard before they leave for school, then replace the “seeds” with real donuts to be discovered when they get home.
36. Tell your kid you bought them an iPad.
“I’m sorry, sweetie, did I say iPad? I meant I bought you an eye pad.”
37. You can also tell your kid you bought them an iPhone.
How mad can they get when it’s made out of chocolate? Learn how to make onehere.
38. Replace Cheetos with carrot slices.
Open the bag from the bottom, swap the Cheetos for carrot slices, then glue it back together. Your kid shouldn’t mind — after all, they’re both orange, right?
39. Superglue a couple coins to the ground outside.
40. Make candied apples with onions.
Your kids will find this one hilarious…in a decade or two.
41. Lastly, if you’re feeling really ambitious you can try this outrageous prank.