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Dan’s Top5 Internet Finds (4/13/15)

Last week none of my so-called “friends” liked my Top5 on Facebook. You think I don’t notice these things?! If you’re reading this right now, you are grounded. No TV. No phone. Go straight to your room and do your homework. After you look at these 5 things, of course (and like and share on the internets):

1. JOG VIDEO of the week

2. NECESSARY THINGS of the week

Movie theaters with screens in the bathroom so you don’t miss anything.

Source: ayoye.com

This app that unsubscribes you from spam mail by simply taking a picture of it.

Source: Quora

And the ultimate outlet would also have extension cords built into the wall.

Source: wired.com

Small tiles you can attach to your keys, wallet, computer, or pretty much anything. If you lose anything, you can then look up their location on your smartphone.

Pizza carriers.

4. HISTORICAL PHOTOS of the week

Humans are Nuts! 40 Historical Photos.

He who forgets or ignores is doomed to repeat or perpetuate. Awareness for the win!

Did you know that Porsche designed the Beetle, for Hitler? Did you know that Hugo Boss designed the Nazi Uniform! Subscribe, for more Nazi Fun Facts!

Brutal:

Execution by cannon, in Shiraz, Iran, mid-late 19th century.


The Royal Navy on the way home from France with Queen Victoria on board, who had just visited Napoleon III, 1858
This reminds me of this.

Climbers bringing down corpses of their fellows from Mont Blanc, 1895

Major General Horatio Gordon Robley with his collection of tattooed Maori heads, 1895

Gold diggers marching through Chilkoot pass, the only way towards Dawson City, 1898


Iceberg that had red and black paint on it. They believe that this is the iceberg that sank the Titanic. Photographed in 1912

Selfies circa 1920

Melted and damaged mannequins after a fire at Madam Tussaud’s Wax Museum in London, 1930
Wow. So modern, free, liberal, could be any decade.
A rare color photograph of two Parisian women from 1930
Porsche showing the model of the beetle to Hitler, 1930s
Class held in a train wagon (reason unknown), Ontario, Canada, 1932
The Olympic flame arrives in Berlin, 1936
Toffs and Toughs – The famous photo by Jimmy Sime that illustrates the class divide in pre-war Britain, 1937
Driving class at Michigan Highland Park University, 1939
Wow, wow, wow:
Searchlights on the Rock of Gibraltar, 1942
Such bravery:
Georges Blind, a Member of the French Resistance, Smiling at a German Firing Squad, October 1944
A Dutch woman entering military captivity with her husband, a German soldier, 1944
To demonstrate the superiority of the Red Army, 57.000 German prisoners of war are herded through downtown Moscow, July 1944
Liberty bridge in Budapest made temporarily usable after the siege, 1945
Wow:
Japanese guards bow before US prisoners of war being released from a Yokohama detention center following the capitulation of Japan, 1945
The last commercial sailing ship, Pamir, to round Cape Horn in 1949
James Dean posing in the coffin in the local undertaker in his home town in the year of his car crash and ensuing death, January 1955
Wow:
Fidel Castro plays baseball in Havana, 1959
Wowow:
A low-division hockey match is interrupted, Sweden, 1959
Iranian woman before the Islamic Revolution, 1960
Wow:
Residents of West Berlin show children to their grandparents who reside on the Eastern side, 1961
The Beatles looking back, 1962 and 1969
Nice coats:
The last prisoners leaving Alcatraz, 1963
Frank Sinatra stepping off of a helicopter with a drink in his hand, by Yul Brynner, 1964
Wow:
Counter-protester with her daughters at a civil liberties rally by black people, Bogalusa, Louisiana, 1965
Woodstock – The Opening Ceremony. Bethel, New York, 14 August 1969
Detective in disguise in Brooklyn, 1969
Rien ne vas plus in the Dunes Hotel in Las Vegas while Man is landing on the Moon, 1969
Wowwow, imagine seeing that underwater:
One of the two Riace Bronzes discovered by an amateur scuba diver is brought out of the Ionian sea. Calabria, Italy. August 1972
Bill and Hillary Clinton as university students, 1973
An assistant holding an umbrella over an actor’s head during the filming of the scandalous erotic thriller Caligula, 1976
Pelé taking a break on the field of Hungarian football club MTK while filming “Escape to Victory”, 1980
Following a jump worth a gold medal, pole vaulter Wladyslaw Kozakiewicz sends a message to Soviet supporters who had given him the raspberry. Moscow Olympics, 1980
War is hell.
British soldier observing Argentinean helmets after the Battle of Goose Green on the Falkland Islands, May 1982
Nice rug:
Steve Jobs and Bill Gates discuss the PC’s future at Jobs’ Palo Alto home, 1991. Photo by George Lange
Camels and burning Kuwaiti oil fields that had been blown up by retreating Iraqi troops, 1991. Photo by Steve McCurry/National Geographic
5.  APRIL FOOLS PRANKS of the week
(The best April Fools pranks are the ones that don’t happen on April 1st)

1. Spill “milk” all over your kid’s most prized possession.

Spill "milk" all over your kid's most prized possession.

This splatter (which won’t harm your kid’s computer or anything else) is easily made using glue and soap. Learn how here.

2. Serve a dessert grilled cheese.

Serve a dessert grilled cheese.

Your kids won’t be mad at you when they realize they get to eat poundcake and frosting. Learn more here.

3. A mashed potato sundae also makes for quite the surprise.

A mashed potato sundae also makes for quite the surprise.

Act like the coolest parent ever and tell your kids you’ll be serving sundaes for dinner, that way when they realize their sundae is actually mashed potatoes and gravy, it can be their dinner. Learn more here.

4. Put a fake parking ticket on the windshield of your newly driving teen.

Put a fake parking ticket on the windshield of your newly driving teen.

Download the PDF here for $5.

5. Stick googly eyes on the food in your refrigerator.

Stick googly eyes on the food in your refrigerator.

6. Tell your kids you’ve baked them a pan of brownies.

Tell your kids you’ve baked them a pan of brownies.

Er, make that brown E’s. Via Mrs. Goff’s Pre-K Tales.

7. Confuse your kid on the ride to school.

Confuse your kid on the ride to school.

8. Stuff toilet paper into the toe of your kid’s shoes.

Stuff toilet paper into the toe of your kid’s shoes.

Mike Spohr / BuzzFeed

This is especially fun if you casually mention to your kid first thing in the morning that their feet look bigger.

9. Send your kid to school with a moldy sandwich.

Send your kid to school with a moldy sandwich.

The sandwich is fine, of course. It’s the sandwich bag that has green markings on it. Order a pack of moldy sandwich bags here for $4.99.

10. Freeze your kid’s morning cereal.

Freeze your kid's morning cereal.

Put a bowl of your kid’s favorite cereal and milk in the freezer overnight, then watch in the morning as your unsuspecting kid clanks a spoon against the frozen milk. Learn more here.

11. Rig a ketchup bottle to squirt string instead of ketchup.

“Hot dogs are ready, kids. Tee-hee!” Learn how to make one here.

12. Sew one of your kid’s socks closed halfway down.

Sew one of your kid’s socks closed halfway down.

Mike Spohr / BuzzFeed

If you’re the sewing type this prank will leave you in stitches.

13. Make “chocolate chip cookies” out of mashed potatoes and black beans.

Make "chocolate chip cookies" out of mashed potatoes and black beans.

Find the recipe here.

14. Put a “for sale” sign in your front yard.

Put a “for sale” sign in your front yard.

Want to take this prank to the next level? When your kid asks where you’re moving to, say, “Alaska.”

15. Give your kid an April Fools’ Day “lollipop.”

Give your kid an April Fools' Day "lollipop."

Learn more here.

16. Make your kid think the principal called.

Make your kid think the principal called.

Paramount Pictures

Use your best acting skills as you tell your worried kid the principal’s laundry list of complaints.

17. Take a photo of someone your kid cares about “floating” (like a parent, grandparent, or sibling), then show it to your kid and feign amazement.

Take a photo of someone your kid cares about "floating" (like a parent, grandparent, or sibling), then show it to your kid and feign amazement.

“I can’t explain what happened, kids. Right now everything I know about the universe is upside down!”

18. Cover the remote sensor with a piece of tape.

Cover the remote sensor with a piece of tape.

Try not to laugh as your kid tries over and over to turn on the TV. Find this prank and some other good ones here.

19. Block the spout of your kid’s shampoo bottle.

Block the spout of your kid’s shampoo bottle.

Mike Spohr / BuzzFeed

Unscrew the cap, cover the top with saran wrap, then screw the cap back on and cut off the excess.

20. Put a twist on a sunny-side-up egg.

Put a twist on a sunny-side-up egg.

A halved peach in yogurt not only looks like an egg, but also makes a delicious breakfast. Learn more here.

21. Put a surprise in the mailbox.

Put a surprise in the mailbox.

This one is especially great for kids who regularly bring in the mail.

22. Squeeze a few drops of food coloring into the bottom of your kid’s bowl, then cover it with cereal.

Squeeze a few drops of food coloring into the bottom of your kid’s bowl, then cover it with cereal.

When your kid pours the milk it will change colors as it rises to the top. Learn morehere.

23. Put a few dye pellets under the cap of your faucet.

Put a few dye pellets under the cap of your faucet.

Unscrew the cap to the faucet, put a pellet from an Easter egg kit under it, then screw the cap back on. This will make colored water come out of the faucet.

24. Make your kids chicken not pie with pudding and candy.

Make your kids chicken not pie with pudding and candy.

Learn how here.

25. Switch the bags inside two boxes of cereal.

Switch the bags inside two boxes of cereal.

Tara Whitsitt / Flickr: hyper-cleats / Via Creative Commons

This is especially funny if you switch your kid’s sweet cereal with dad’s bran flakes.

26. Change the settings on your kid’s mouse or trackpad.

Change the settings on your kid’s mouse or trackpad.

Flickr: eirikso / Via Creative Commons

In your computer’s settings you can make it so that the cursor goes in the opposite direction than it normally does.

27. Take a screencap of the desktop on your kid’s iPad or computer and leave it up full screen.

Take a screencap of the desktop on your kid’s iPad or computer and leave it up full screen.

Mike Spohr / BuzzFeed

Your kid will be stumped why nothing happens when they touch or click on the icons.

28. Try this “dollar in a book” trick.

Try this "dollar in a book" trick.

Sorry, kid. Mwahahahahaha!

29. Pack a surprising lunch.

Pack a surprising lunch.

Learn more here.

30. Serve up a glass of juice that is really Jell-O.

Serve up a glass of juice that is really Jell-O.

That first sip will be classic. Learn more here.

31. You can also use gelatin to make this unusual glass of milk.

You can also use gelatin to make this unusual glass of milk.

This “milk” actually is quite tasty and makes a sweet snack. Learn more here.

32. Paint a bar of soap with nail polish and leave it in the shower.

Paint a bar of soap with nail polish and leave it in the shower.

The soap won’t lather, which should give your kids fits as they try to get ready. Find this prank and others like it here.

33. When your kids are sleeping, switch them into each other’s bed.

When your kids are sleeping, switch them into each other’s bed.

Flickr: 25047992@N00 / Via Creative Commons

Waking up in their sibling’s room is a hilarious way to start April Fools’ Day.

34. Pick up your kids from school wearing a funny wig.

Pick up your kids from school wearing a funny wig.

DJ Camoacho / Flickr: 99204945@N00 / Via Creative Commons

When your kids ask about it tell them you went to the hairdresser while they were at school.

35. Plant “doughnut seeds.”

Plant "doughnut seeds."

Ask your kids to plant some of these in the yard before they leave for school, then replace the “seeds” with real donuts to be discovered when they get home.

36. Tell your kid you bought them an iPad.

Tell your kid you bought them an iPad.

“I’m sorry, sweetie, did I say iPad? I meant I bought you an eye pad.”

37. You can also tell your kid you bought them an iPhone.

You can also tell your kid you bought them an iPhone.

How mad can they get when it’s made out of chocolate? Learn how to make onehere.

38. Replace Cheetos with carrot slices.

Replace Cheetos with carrot slices.

Flickr: akeg / Via Creative Commons

Open the bag from the bottom, swap the Cheetos for carrot slices, then glue it back together. Your kid shouldn’t mind — after all, they’re both orange, right?

39. Superglue a couple coins to the ground outside.

Superglue a couple coins to the ground outside.

Flickr: jpstanley / Via Creative Commons

40. Make candied apples with onions.

Make candied apples with onions.

Your kids will find this one hilarious…in a decade or two.

41. Lastly, if you’re feeling really ambitious you can try this outrageous prank.

Lastly, if you’re feeling really ambitious you can try this outrageous prank.

Dan Wiberg
Dan Wiberg lives in South Korea where he is a university "professor" and on and off stand up comic. He grew up enjoying the beautiful beaches of Tampa Bay, Florida. After graduating with a degree in anthropology (this degree legally allows him to tell racist jokes), he came across an internet ad to teach in Asian in 2009. He's been in Korea ever since. He started doing stand-up and his biggest credits to date are opening for Tom Rhodes and doing a three day comedy tour throughout Korea with his group of comedy pals (the Waygoonies). Dan says stuff on Twitter sometimes @DanWiberg.

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