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Dan’s Top5 Internet Finds (12/15/2014)

How is your December? Is it everything you thought it’d be? Christmas is right around the corner. Have you been naughty or nice? You do realize that Santa Claus is coming to town. He sees you when you’re sleeping. He knows when you’re awake. He watches you taking showers. He is always there. ALWAYS. So am I. At least on Mondays.

1. WOULD YOU RATHER QUESTIONS of the week

  1. 1. Would you rather…
    1. Live one 1,000-year life?
    2. Or live ten 100-year lives?
  1. 2. Would you rather…
    1. Have legs as long as your fingers?
    2. Have fingers as long as your legs?
  1. 3. Would you rather…
    1. Be illiterate, but have the power to read minds?
    2. Or just have the ability to read?
  1. 4. Would you rather…
    1. Eat chocolate-flavored poop?
    2. Or eat poop-flavored chocolate?
  1. 5. You’re on a desert island with a beautiful woman or man. Would you rather…
    1. They are top-half fish?
    2. Or they are bottom-half fish?
  1. 6. Would you rather…
    1. Be 4’5”?
    2. Or be 7’7”?
  1. 7. Would you rather…
    1. Be able to run at 100 miles per hour?
    2. Or fly at 10 miles per hour?
  1. 8. Would you rather…
    1. Sweat mayo?
    2. Or have to poop a softball?
  1. 9. Would you rather…
    1. Have a dragon?
    2. Or be a dragon?
  1. 10. Would you rather…
    1. Be sexually attracted to fruit?
    2. Or have Cheetos dust permanently stuck on your fingers?
  1. 11. Would you rather…
    1. Never have to worry about money?
    2. Or live in a world with Pokémon?
  1. 12. Would you rather…
    1. Speak any language fluently?
    2. Or be able to talk to animals?
  1. 13. Would you rather…
    1. Fart popcorn?
    2. Or have your past and future web browsing history available to everyone?
  1. 14. Would you rather…
    1. Have a vagina on your forehead?
    2. Or have a row of penises down your back like a stegosaurus?
  1. 15. Would you rather…
    1. Have a bell go off every single time you are aroused?
    2. Or feel a sharp pain in your side every single time someone says your name?
  1. 16. Would you rather…
    1. Only be able to whisper?
    2. Or only be able to shout?
  1. 17. Would you rather…
    1. Have sex with a goat, and no one knows you did it?
    2. Or NOT have sex with a goat, but everyone THINKS you did it?

And finally…

  1. 18. Would you rather…
    1. Watch your parents have sex every day of your life?
    2. Or join in once to stop it?

2. STARS WITH NO TEETH pics of the week

01-rihanna-without-teeth

02-Jennifer-Lawrence-without-teeth

03-Zac-Efron-without-teeth

04-Megan-Fox-without-teeth

05-Leonardo-Dicaprio-without-teeth

06-Beyonce-without-teeth

07-Meg-Ryan-without-teeth

08-Jennifer-Aniston-without-teeth

09-Justin-Bieber-without-teeth

10-Sofia-Vergara-without-teeth

11-Justin-Timberlake-without-teeth

13-Drake-without-teeth

14-Madonna-without-teeth

15-Sarah-Jessica-Parker-without-teeth

17-Angelina-Jolie-without-teeth

18-Hugh-Jackman-without-teeth

19-Cameron-Diaz-without-teeth

20-Robert-Downey-Jr-without-teeth

21-Halle--Berry-without-teeth

23-Kristen-Stewart-without-teeth

26-Chuck-Norris-without-teeth

3. FIREPLACE VIDEO of the week

Winter is here. This video helps.

4. WEBSITE of the week

http://www.baconsizzling.com

5. ANOTHER WEBSITE of the week

http://www.anasomnia.com

BONUS:

I went to YouTube and I typed in “funny” in the search bar. Then I changed the search filter to put the highest viewed video first. This is the highest viewed video on YouTube.com when you search the word “funny.” Sidebar: The French have no taste in humor.

Dan Wiberg
Dan Wiberg lives in South Korea where he is a university "professor" and on and off stand up comic. He grew up enjoying the beautiful beaches of Tampa Bay, Florida. After graduating with a degree in anthropology (this degree legally allows him to tell racist jokes), he came across an internet ad to teach in Asian in 2009. He's been in Korea ever since. He started doing stand-up and his biggest credits to date are opening for Tom Rhodes and doing a three day comedy tour throughout Korea with his group of comedy pals (the Waygoonies). Dan says stuff on Twitter sometimes @DanWiberg.

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