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Dan’s Bucket List

bucketList

1.  Fend off an animal with a torch.

2.  Get kicked out of a casino for winning.

3.  Be offered a million dollars to have sexual intercourse.

4.  Have a cape removed from me onstage as I get ready to perform.

5.  Be the only white guy in an all-black band

6.  Get shot and brush it off, saying, “I ain’t got time to bleed.”

7.  Get hit on the head and have a revelation.

8. Learn a skill from someone who is a master of that skill, and then later on have to challenge and defeat them using the skill I learned from them.

9.  Pawn my super bowl ring.

10.  Shout, “Release the hounds!”

11.  Hide my scent while being tracked by hounds.

12.  Track someone by sifting and tasting dirt. Then slowly let the dirt fall from your hand as you stare at its mesmerizing decent to the Earth.

13.  Pull a disguise off someone and shout, “A-ha!”

14.  Dislocate my shoulder to get out of a straitjacket.

15.  Coolly walk away wearing sunglasses while something behind me explodes.

16.  Saw off a person’s hand that’s handcuffed to a briefcase.

17.  Drive a car off a pier and land on a garbage barge.

18.  Get involved in an underwater knife fight.

19.  Tell a group of people to synchronize their watches.

20.  Box a kangaroo.

21.  Shave with a machete.

22.  Teach at an inner-city school where my unconventional teaching methods earn my students’ trust.

23.  Lift my head up, pull down my surgical mask and say “there’s nothing more I can do.”

24.  Beat someone on the chest and say “Live damn it!”

25.  Avenge the murder of my police detective partner – by my own rules.

26  Lift a midget and see what happens next.

27. Tell the person with me to kill me if I turn into a zombie but then take it back when I start turning.

28. Adopt a child that is not my race.

29. Be chased by natives after finding one of their ancient artifacts.

30. Have a friendly, old, intelligent black janitor give me a motivational speech.

Dan Wiberg
Dan Wiberg lives in South Korea where he is a university "professor" and on and off stand up comic. He grew up enjoying the beautiful beaches of Tampa Bay, Florida. After graduating with a degree in anthropology (this degree legally allows him to tell racist jokes), he came across an internet ad to teach in Asian in 2009. He's been in Korea ever since. He started doing stand-up and his biggest credits to date are opening for Tom Rhodes and doing a three day comedy tour throughout Korea with his group of comedy pals (the Waygoonies). Dan says stuff on Twitter sometimes @DanWiberg.

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