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5 People I’d Like to Have Over for Thanksgiving

Last year Alex wrote an article about the Top 5 People You Don’t Want at Thanksgiving Dinner. It was a good list with the exception of Rob Ford, who I personally would have loved to have had over. Regardless, this year I’ve decided to follow it up by making a list of living people who I actually would like to sit down and break bread with. This list is in addition to my family, who would, of course, be in attendance.

Here’s the list is in no particular order…

Anthony Bourdain

XOK, I know I just said this was in no particular order, but this guy might be the most important attendee since I would try to sucker this celebrity chef, writer and travel show host into cooking. I’d do this by standing in the kitchen and doing everything wrong until he insisted he be allowed to take over if for no other reason than to get me to stop using culinary terms incorrectly.  “The secret to this recipe, Anthony, is caramelizing the mashed potatoes.” I imagine that the CNN host of Parts Unknown both while cooking and while at dinner would share some of his countless travel stories and would be more than equipped to discuss any and all of the heaviest topics in the news in an intelligent and funny way.


Yeah, I like Obama, and I like him because I’m not a moron. Not only is the guy one of the most important figures of the 21st century and one of the best presidents we’ve ever had, he also seems relaxed and cool enough to have around without everything becoming overly formal. I’d assume he’d bring his own security, but I’ll be counting on the family dog to keep any intruders from just busting up into the house while we eat. Sorry Secret Service, y’all been slacking.

Elizabeth Warren

$(KGrHqFHJEQFIpnL(Pj2BSRgfV8Mzw~~60_35Not only is she the most passionate and inspiring politician in America, I also have no doubt she’s running for president in 2016. I’d ask her to explain the current state of the economy, and how we got to this point, and she’d be able to do it in a simple way that even I would be able to understand (that’s her amazing talent). On top of that, I’d sit her next to Obama and hope she’d rub off on the guy and give him a bit more backbone.

Bill Maher 

While he’s been viewed as being a bit more controversial than usual lately with his whole “Islam is the mother load of bad ideas,” stuff. I overall agree with the point I think he’s getting at. There are people out there who are intolerant of other groups and calling them out for it and opposing them is not the same thing as being intolerant yourself. In fact, I wrote an article about this not too long ago. Anyway, since I think these kinds of discussions are going to be happening more and more in the coming years, might as well pick the brain of the guy who could be said to have kicked it off.

Bill Bryson

billbrysonHe’s a writer. He’s funny as hell. He’s a wealth of knowledge. He travels all the time, and I know he’d have a lot of information and funny stories to add to any discussion. Plus I’d get to ask him about some of his books that I’ve read over the last couple of years. On top of all that, while enjoying our after dinner cognacs and some pumpkin pie by the fire (this is going to be a fancy affair), I’ll try to get him to give me some notes on a book I just wrote.

Tina Fay

She’s also a writer and an actress and a producer. She’s also smart as hell and funny as all get out. I’d be half tempted to have her come as Sarah Palin, but would let her break character from time to time to share her real thoughts about the topic at hand.


Colin Kaepernick

roger-goodellI’m a huge San Francisco 49ers fan, so while I’m sitting around making a list of people I’ll never actually get to eat with, I might as well add my current favorite athlete to the list. I’m not sure how much he could add to the conversation, but I would certainly keep him busy signing stuff for me between bites. Sadly, even in this hypothetical scenario, I know Kaep would have to turn down this invite since he has a game that day and will be busy kicking the Seattle Seahawks’ asses up and down the field.

In lieu of Kaep being there, I would take Rodger Goodell, the commissioner of the NFL, so everyone could take turns yelling at him about the piss-poor job he’s been doing running the league. And he would be sat at the children’s table. By himself.

Brian M. Williams
Brian is the author of the recently published travel memoir "Stranger in a Stranger Land: My Six Years in Korea." (Click this profile for more information.) He's also a law school grad with Southern charm and Virginia roots. He recently returned to America after nearly seven years traveling and working abroad. He loves dive bars, international travel and foreign accents. He's particularly good at small talk and was the first person to notice there's no "I" in "team."

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